2011年4月13日 星期三

describing a person

       My friend and I took a trip to the US. Yesterday we went shopping on the street. Suddenly, she told me she wanted to go to bathroom and asked me wait for her for ten minutes. Yet, thirty minutes had passed, and she didn’t come back. I was worry about her. Her name is Candy. She is medium height and average weight. Moreover, her hair is black and curly and she doesn’t wear glasses. In addition, there is a big mole on her right cheek. You can also notice her immediately about her scar on her nose. Please call me as soon as possible if you see her.
張貼者： 於

4 則留言:

  1. 王巧雲2011年4月13日 晚上11:35

    Yet, thirty minutes had passed, and she didn’t come back....好像不用and^^

    I was worry about her....worried

    ^^

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  2. 小宇2011年4月20日 晚上11:05

    asked me wait
    應該是 ask someone to wait

    You can also notice her immediately about her scar on her nose
    我覺得不要這樣描述
    或許寫 路人會被他的疤所吸引
    因為平常應該不會是特別去注意路人

    然後我覺得直接開始描述你朋友有的突兀
    如果在那之前先說要找人之類的
    在開始敘述 比較不會讓人錯愕

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  3. 應二甲022011年4月20日 晚上11:06

    標題+a

    asked me wait for 是不是wait 前面要+to

    notice her immediately about 用about 是不是怪怪的

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  4. 勝閎2011年5月4日 晚上11:19

    Please call me as soon as possible if you see her.
    沒有留電話,就不能打摟!!

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