I once lived in Taipei , and worked as a volunteer in a hospital. It really felt good to get the opportunities to help people. One morning an elderly woman, with a bloody head, was sent to the hospital by a stranger. Seeing the situation, I shuddered involuntarily and became worried. Few minutes later, a nurse rushed out of the emergency room hastily and asked for anyone who with blood type O in the hospital. However, there was no one replied her asking. Suddenly, I found that I was the one who with blood type O. Due to being afraid of making an injection, I hesitated about making the decision to reply the nurse for her help. After a while, I decided to do it and then followed her to drew my blood. After the operation, the woman was out of danger and knew that I saved her and she told me she was really thanked for my help. At that moment, I realized that I've done a right thing.
好好噢XD
回覆刪除恭喜喔!
回覆刪除replied her asking 奇怪
回覆刪除the one who with blood type O 這邊who不用吧?
After the operation, the woman was out of danger and knew that I saved her and she told me she was really thanked for my help.
這句的連接詞太多了吧?
(1) who with blood type O 要完整子句所以要加be動詞
回覆刪除(2) reply the nurse for her help 感覺for怪怪的 要不要另尋高手確定~"~
(3) that I saved her 加的life比較好吧
(4) was really thanked for my help 都thank 就不能在有前面的be動詞 除非你是thankful
an elderly woman, with a bloody head 不用逗號
回覆刪除who with blood type O in the hospital.
要有動詞ㄅ
there was no one replied her asking 雙動詞
Due to being afraid of making an injection
只想說 捐血好!!
drew my blood 原形是draw
bloody head, was sent 這裡應該也不用逗點
回覆刪除the woman was out of danger and knew that I saved her and she told me she was really thanked for my help. 這句我覺得可以用兩句來寫
回覆刪除因為用太多連接詞了! 內容不錯哦 :)
文章具有想像力 故事劇情編的很好 很寫實 只是你好像沒有去當過義工吧!!
回覆刪除